Wednesday, October 28, 2015

[Article] Horror Movie Survival Kit brought to you by ManCrates

So last week I got one of those emails that you get occasionally. Totally unsolicited and someone asking if you might be willing to do something you already do, but for them. It's Halloween-season, my favorite season of the year, and the slew of things having to do with horror movies makes me giddy as a school kid. Back to that email I got. A lovely person named Alex came to me with a simple question: What would you have in your Horror Movie Survival Kit? Why did she ask me this question? Because she works for Man Crates, a premier gift company for men. I really like their Retro Gamer Crate and the NFL Barware Crate. So in the spirit of the season, I give you the three things I would have in my Horror Movie Survival Kit.

1. Running Shoes
Let's face it, eventually you're going to end up running. Hopefully not through a forest where there are thousands of roots conspiring against your possible escape. However, in the event you do end up running for your life from vampires, zombies, werewolves, what have you, those Manolo Blahnik's just are not going to cut it. You need something with some tread, support, and aerodynamics. Might I suggest a pair of Asic? Maybe some Nike's. Whatever you chose, make sure they fit well and don't flop all over the place, that just defeats the purpose. You might not be able to outrun every problem (Running from Jason and Michael generally doesn't work well.) but getting some distance between you and trouble is almost always a good thing.

2. A Silver Crucifix
Though faith can sometimes seem a little passe these days, creatures of darkness are old school. Faith moves them. Or if the faith doesn't move them, then the fact that it's silver might. It covers vampires, werewolves, most demons, and a myriad of other creatures that go bump in the night. Hang it around your neck, not from the mirror of your car which when you get to it won't start because that's just what happens when you really, really need it to work.

3. A Multi-tool which includes a flashlight.
You never know when you're going to need to jimmy a lock or unscrew the front off a vent, plus a flashlight when things are darkest can be a life saver. Or at least a sanity saver. Things are still going to stalk you from the shadows, this way you have some chance of seeing just a sliver of what they are before they descend upon you to devour your carcass. It'll be kind of like the last moments of the merchant in Pitch Black when he had that last fireball and it was evident he was completely surrounded.

Those are the three things I would wish for in my crate should I have to survive a horror movie. Not much, I'm a bit of a minimalist (what you bring you have to carry) but I think it would afford me a better chance of making it out alive than if I didn't have them. I could have asked for things like guns (can't shoot worth a hill of beans), knives (do I really wanna get that close), maybe a bomb or two (and risk blowing myself up), but I didn't.

Don't forget to check out Man Crates for more great gift ideas for the men in your life. They have three crates dedicated to surviving zombies you might find quite interesting. Zombie Survival Crate | Zombie Suppression Crate | Zombie Annihilation Crate All of which I'm seriously considering for my own birthday! Just remember: Man Crates! Great gift ideas for the men in your life.

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